Habits Over Goals

I feel like I’ve stumbled upon a life hack that probably doesn’t actually qualify as a life hack so much as a synthesization of a concept from James Clear’s Atomic Habits i.e. Goals are bogus or, in other words (that are probably more like what James would actually say): habits are more effective than goals for long term achievement.

It all started over Christmas break when I threw plans and schedules to the wind and lived my life with reckless abandon/sloth-yness - at least to the level that someone who loves structure and routine could achieve. I stayed up late and slept in. I watched TV before noon (gasp!) For two days, I stayed in my pajamas, ate cookies for dinner, and didn’t leave my apartment. (A recent breakup might’ve helped fuel this zombie-like existence.) 

But all was not for naught, as I realized something from this . . . experiment, shall we call it? That is, there are certain things a day needs to qualify as a “good” day - for me to feel like the day’s time was well spent. 

Revisiting the Morning Routine

Firstly, I need to move my body, any exercise really will do, preferably outside. And if I don’t do that first thing in the morning, there’s a high chance it won’t get done. I also realized that a good day involves enriching myself somehow, either through listening to a podcast or reading. Spending hours watching Christmas movies was temporarily entertaining but often left me feeling drained and wondering/worrying how I'd just spent the last several hours of my life. I feel similarly towards scrolling social media: entertaining in the moment but left me feeling a bit meh afterward. (Recently reading How To Break Up With Your Phone has provided some increased motivation to decrease screen time, as studies have shown it basically turns your brain into goo, leaving you with the inability to pay attention to anything that’s in front of you, but I digress…) 

So I decided to retool my morning routine and (re)make a habit of going outside first thing in the morning after meditating, either to run or walk. (An exception to this might be when I know I'll be going to run club in the evening and, therefore, opt for yoga in the morning.) This used to be a habit of mine in addition to meditation and journaling in the morning, but then ~life~ got in the way. Sometimes, you need to NOT do something to realize how much you miss it.

Once I made that a habit, I was logging more consistent workouts and miles than I have in several months. Not because I made it a goal to work out x times a month or to run x miles a week, but because I simply made a habit with no specific goal in mind. I've found that when you make a habit instead of a goal, you stop negotiating with yourself over said goal. For example, if training for a race is your only motivation for running, I find that you bargain with yourself over doing the activity instead of establishing the activity as a non-negotiable i.e. “ I’ll skip my run today and make it up tomorrow.” This might be fine for your training plan but the makeup run will be that much harder to accomplish and less enjoyable.

If you focus your energy on building the habit, you remove the opportunity to bargain. You either do it at the time or day that you say you will . . . or you don’t. There are no “make-ups.” 

Living With No Rules Is For Your 20's

I also had a vague sense that I wanted to read more and watch less TV. So, I started opting to read instead of watching TV during weekday evenings. When I did this, I realized I was going to bed on time more often and falling asleep faster. That led to me waking up feeling refreshed and happier, which reinforced the behavior. I then started swapping phone scrolling for reading during my work breaks as well, which also helped me feel more refreshed when I went back to work. These two seemingly small changes lead me to read 12 books in the span of 2 months. (One of which was almost 900 pages!)

If you had asked me on New Year's Day how much effort it would take to read 12 books before March 1st, I would've thought an enormous amount. And yet, it happened almost accidentally. I merely wanted to decrease my time spent watching TV and scrolling social media and needed another activity to fill the time.

Dry January also helped me develop a reading habit. No drinking meant I needed to find an activity that occupied my mind more actively than watching a screen, so I read more on weekends as well. I also found a link between watching reality TV and drinking a glass of wine. Remove one, and you have less craving for the other. I also tend to pick up my phone while watching TV, so no TV means less phone scrolling. Huzzah!

Realizing how these negative behaviors and habits were linked, I decided to create the "rule" of not watching TV on weekdays. I now feel like I have this new windfall of free time that I can devote to reading and writing more. I also don't reach for my phone as much and have reduced my craving for couch sitting and wine drinking.

Homework :)

So I implore you, dear reader, read in Bridgerton's voice, of course: What is one habit you can implement that will help you a) achieve one of your goals or b) have a better day, week, or month? Think about something that, if done daily, weekly, or monthly, would boost your health or happiness. Focusing on habits instead of desired outcomes might help you achieve something you didn't think possible.