January is a Try-Out

I was originally going to publish a blog post on health because that seems to be the focus for most annual resolutions, but I’ve decided to hold off. Why? Because I’ve recently learned that some people have already quit their resolutions by the second Friday of the month (affectionately referred to as Quitter’s Day) and many more will quit their resolutions by February 1st. And apparently some don't even get started because they’ve deemed their resolutions too hard. (If that's you - please read on for some tips!)

I half-jokingly refer to January as a try-out month for a good reason: this is the time to try on your resolutions, see how they fit and adjust accordingly. It's also the time where you set yourself up to achieve your goals i.e. create habits, routines or procure things that will help you implement your Action Plan. If you approach January this way - there's nothing to fail at!  

Resolutions are not final

I have only recently “finished” my resolutions last week but truth be told, for me, they are never finished. They are a work in progress until December 31st. Let me explain. One of my resolutions this year centers on diet and nutrition. I've learned that 80+% of what's needed for me to feel and look healthy is achieved through food (and not exercise.) This means lowering my alcohol intake and eating more of a plant-based diet i.e. decreasing my meat and dairy intake and generally eating less processed foods. To achieve these goals requires me to meal prep and cook more as well as keep track of how many alcoholic drinks I consume. I originally planned to not drink during the week, but then I realized “life happens” and sometimes you hang out with your girlfriends on a Thursday and maybe you want a glass of wine. Yes, not drinking during the week would be easier to remember but would it be easier to implement?

Small and easy wins

Notice that I’m asking what would be easier to implement. That’s right, your goals shouldn’t be hard to achieve, necessarily. In fact, I’m all about small and easy wins. If you’re worried that one of your goals is too hard to acheive, decrease the difficulty of the original goal or break that big goal into smaller goals i.e. give yourself some easy wins that once achieving, will provide you the motivation to keep going. And if you happen to achieve all of your goals by March because you've made them so easy - Hooray! You’re amazing. Maybe think about making some new goals . . . and/or just relish in the fact that you joined the ranks of a small percentage of people (only 9%!) that actually achieve their annual resolutions.

Ease into changes

Another important point is to ease into changes. One of my goals this year is to be more intentional with my time and lower my time spent (read: wasted) on social media. As part of my Action Plan, I've created a fairly strict schedule for my morning, day and night as well as set up various screen time limitations on my phone. I know that I am not going to suddenly wake up one day and go from the "December Sheri" who used her time a bit carelessly to someone who follows a 20-bulleted schedule. Nope, not gonna happen - let’s be realistic. So I gave myself until Tuesday, January 16th to see if I could adhere to my entire daily schedule. That means in the days leading up to it, I was “trying out” part of the schedule. Some days I would try out the afternoon schedule. A few days I tried out the entire morning or night ritual. If something just didn't work, then I adjusted it. That way, come January 16th, I was ready to tackle the whole thing. Will I perfectly adhere to this new schedule on Day 1? No, I ended up walking for 40 mins instead of 30 and it took me 30 minutes more to do something than I had originally planned. But did I let this derail my entire day/year? Nope, because I’ve realized: 

Life happens

And life is the obstacles. That’s right. Life isn't what happens once you’ve removed all the obstacles and cleared all the levels, like in a video game. (That's when the game ends!) Life happens when you’re encountering the obstacles. You’re going to mess up. In fact, expect to make mistakes. Move on, pivot, stay flexible, try again tomorrow. As long as you’re consistently putting in effort and not giving up - you're not failing. The fact that I was running 30ish minutes behind on my schedule didn't bother me. Know that "Perfectionism is the enemy of progress." It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. In fact, it shouldn’t be. This is also why it’s helpful and sometimes more motivating to focus on your habits and processes versus a particular goal or metric.

Systems over Goals

Although I’ve decided I want to feel healthier, I haven’t given myself a traditional health goal e.g. lose 10 lbs. Instead, I’ve focused on instituting daily and weekly habits into my schedule that I know will help me feel healthier. Aside from completing Dry January, I don’t have any “one-time” actions to complete. Instead the actions contained in the health part of my Action Plan look like this:

• Cook at least one vegetarian meal every week (you're in town.)
• Prepare or procure one healthy snack every week (you’re in town.)
• Eat meat for 2 or less meals per week
• Have 7 or less alcoholic drinks per week
• Continue taking AG1 and mushroom immunity supplements
• Continue HRV training
• Complete 1 run per week
• Close Apple Rings 6 out of 7 days

The funny thing is that since I’ve instituted healthy habits like not drinking and eating better in January, already I’ve lost 5 lbs since December, despite weight loss not being a goal. However when my goal in December was to slim down in order to look better in a bathing suit for Mexico - I could barely lose 1 lb. Interesting that when you put all your focus on the goal or metric itself (and not the process to get there), it’s sometimes harder to achieve. This is in line with the downsides to goal-setting discussed in Atomic Habits.

Another downside to goals? If you put all your focus on the metric and don't achieve said metric, you're potentially setting yourself up for disappointment. For example - take someone who decides their goal is to place top ten in their next running race. So in order to achieve that end, they decide they need to run 4 times a week. They create said habit and successfully run 4 times every week for the 12 weeks leading up to that race. When they run the race, however, they place 11th. Did they fail?

If you focus solely on whether the goal was achieved - Yes, they failed. If you focus on the successful creation of the running habit or if their goal was instead to become a runner - No, they didn't fail.

Additionally, if they continue their running habit, they have an even better chance of achieving their goal of placing top ten for the next race. (Side note: placing in a race is also based on a number of factors that are somewhat out of your control e.g. weather, getting sick or injured, the other racers, etc.)

James Clear discusses how goals sometimes "Restrict your happiness" in Chapter 2 of Atomic Habits:

"When you fall in love with the process rather than the product, you don't have to wait to give yourself permission to be happy. You can be satisfied anytime your system is running." - James Clear

As long as you're implementing the habits you designed, you're successful, regardless of the outcome. I love that.

Another example: Say your goal is to workout in the gym 3 times per week but in the first week you only go twice. Before that though, you never went at all. Did you fail? . . . I’ll let you decide. 

Overall

When it comes to resolutions and goal-setting in general, be patient with yourself. Change takes time. As long as you’re making the right decisions and casting the right vote with your actions most of the time, you’re making progress. In summary:

1. Your goals/resolutions are not set in stone. If you find something is too hard or just not gonna work - revise them! This is better than abandoning them altogether.
2. Design your goals to have small and easy wins 
3.  Give yourself time to "try on" your goals and ease into them or work up to them. 
4. Life happens. If you mess up, try again tomorrow. Take it day by day and don’t get overwhelmed by the totality of what you’re trying to accomplish. 
5. Put more focus on the habits and systems needed to achieve your goal, versus the goal itself. 

I’ll leave you with this quote which I find quite empowering when you're faced with what seems like an impossible goal or challenge:

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” - Arthur Ashe