The Calm Before the Joy

“I saw them start to be able to access relaxation, which is the first step toward joy in the body.” - Martha Beck

I listened to one of the most densely-packed and thought-provoking podcasts the other day, and I haven't stopped thinking about a couple of concepts that were discussed. One of them is the relationship between relaxation and joy.

Want to feel more joy? Seek out what relaxes you. A big reason why I run or move my body is to achieve that feeling of calm and relaxation. Spending time in nature, being on the water, looking at something beautiful . . . all seem to calm my nervous system. And inevitably leads to me feeling joy. 

In last week’s blog post, I mentioned that I finally had clarity about my decision to quit my job during a moment of calm at the end of a two-week vacation. The experience of peace allowed me to feel joyful for the future I imagined for myself.

I've mentioned this quote before, and I’ll mention it again. 

“Happiness is peace in motion.” - Naval Ravikant

So the goal becomes peace. But how does one achieve peace? 

I have this recurring nightmare (or possibly daymare.) I’m standing on a mountain looking at the beautiful landscape below. And all I can think of are the emails piling up in my inbox or an interaction with a client that didn’t go perfectly. We all know the feeling, right? Anxiety can follow you to the furthest reaches of the world.  

The Opposite of Anxiety?

In this particular podcast, Martha Beck discusses why anxiety shows up. Apparently, humans are the only species on earth that suffer from anxiety. And the reason, she explains, is because of language:

“The problem is the verbal stories that you tell feed back into the amygdala and as environmental reality. So, if I’m afraid something’s going to jump at me from the dark, it’s as if something really is going to jump at me from the dark.” 

The opposite of anxiety, Martha explains, is creativity.

If something scares you and the left hemisphere of the brain reacts, it tries to control whatever's wrong by telling verbal stories about it. This is the manifestation of anxiety. If you go to curiosity, using the right hemisphere of your brain, you get creativity instead. 

Right vs. Left Brain

She explains how when Jill Bolte Taylor, a Harvard neuroanatomist, lost the entire left hemisphere of her brain, she had zero anxiety. It took her eight years to rebuild her brain, but she experienced things with only the right hemisphere that she’d never experienced before i.e. incredible joy, bliss, awe, and the feeling of being completely a field of energy with no barriers between physical objects.

The right hemisphere thinks about the right here, right now, only understanding the present moment. It thinks in pictures and learns kinesthetically from the movement in our bodies. It "believes" all humans are interconnected with a common shared goal.

The left hemisphere is all about the past and the future. It thinks linearly and methodically; it thinks in language. The focus tends to be on the self instead of all humans when thinking with your left hemisphere.

So what do Martha and Jill think is the path to peace (and the cure for anxiety?) 

Activate the right side of your brain more. Resist the urge to focus on logic and reasoning over what you feel in your physical body.

The irony of this coming from an engineer is not lost on me, but I assure you that tapping into the right side of my brain has helped with my anxiety immensely.

One of the first books that I read during my sabbatical was The Artist's Way by Jule Cameron which provides guidance on how you can tap into / unlock your creative self. I can say with confidence that working through the exercises in this book lessened my anxiety and helped me feel happier.

So the next time you feel anxious? 

“Make something. You can’t stay anxious if you’re making something.” - Martha Beck

Or as Neil Gaiman puts it "Make good art."

Bottom line: instead of chasing joy, seek what relaxes you. The next time you feel anxious, try to do something creative and/or something that involves moving your body. Doodle, go for a walk just to take in the sights, read a good fiction book, etc.